She weighs 45 kilograms, and she is 1 meter 57 centimeters… the sweetest thing since pure cane sugar. It is my delight to announce that WE ARE FOUR (or really six)! I am overwhelmed that God could allow me to be her Momma. It is crazy busy right now, getting all things prepared for her and I to travel home. I will write more details very soon. I am having a great time with the other children at camp, too. More on camp to follow, also.
Thank you for joining us on this journey!
15
At noon today (Friday) I began my journey back to Ukraine to complete the adoption of my sweet Alexandria… a process we began last September. It is always exciting to be traveling abroad, but even more so when your travel has purpose. Traveling with purpose. Many times I have traveled with only my interest at the heart of the destination. Those trips have always been fun, but at the end of the trip nothing in my life was altered. Perhaps I was exhausted from too much activity, or I was well-rested (having read a few more books). But, seldom was my life really altered.
Nothing can compare to the scope of life-change this journey brings. I boarded my first plane today with tears in my eyes as I thought, “Next time I cross this threshold I will not be alone”. I wish I was bringing more than just Alexandria home with me on this trip… but who knows… that might be yet another trip. I have a few of these children I would like to introduce to you, especially those of you who might be feeling the tug to care for orphans in a life-altering way. When you ask God to conform you into His image, He will cause you to care for the things He cares about. It is a radical journey when you dare to grab hold. Funny, though, He doesn’t give you a complete itinerary… He just says GO! But to not go… that would be the greatest tragedy. A life lived for only yourself or, at best, a life lived pursuing God only for what He does for you. How empty! Empty… and you would never know the unimaginably great things He has planned for those who love Him.
Ivan is having his own adventure state side. He is traveling throughout SC for a funeral, a buying trip for the Pantry, and being her #1 fan at Iveta’s horse show in Clemson. Ivan, Jr. leaves for basketball camp at Wake Forest the same day Iveta returns from the horse show. And dear Babushka is out of town for this week. Pray for Ivan… between work and children his plate is full.
I look forward to getting to see many of the children from the Internat. They are at yet another government camp, but this time only a short trip from the orphanage. I will return to the hotel I stayed in previously, and look forward to seeing the children and my friend from Texas. She has been traveling about western Ukraine like a “gypsy” (her word not mine).
I am to pick up my court decree on 26 July, and later that same day I should be able to pick up my daughter from the camp, and from then on we will be together! Please pray with me that it is so!
Much love friends and family,
Ivanka.
I have been trying to decide what I should write, now that I’m home (without my daughter… for the time being). I really want to whine and complain about how unjust the whole international adoption situation is, and that I feel violated, etc. But then I am reminded of the Israelites, and how their murmuring and complaining really got them nowhere and, in-fact, caused them to spend 40 years wandering around in circles while waiting for that generation to die-off. NOT what I have in mind for the next 40 years of my life!
I will confess to you my sin of inactivity. I’m proof that one can mentally wander about in circles and be just as ineffective as if you were physically wandering in circles. So many things need to be done, and so many decisions need to be made… and I find that it’s nearly noon most days before I really begin to think about my strategy for the day… very sad. So, as I confess my sin to the masses, I also commit to change that today. I am going to order my days aright and focus on getting the things done that need to be done, and rejoining the days of my life in an active and effective way. I am sure Ivan will be elated!
So, you heard it here… feel free to ask me how I am progressing in my plans. I am going to arise at 6:00, have my quiet time with God, exercise at 7:30, and then spend an hour… studying my Russian-language tapes / brain exercise / planning dinners for my family / maybe some fun beach times with friends and, well… whatever God has for me next. I thrive with a plan, but without one I can barely hold on. Enough about me already.
We need two court hearings to take place, according to our first Judge. One took place on the 4 July, 2011, and now we are in the ten-day waiting period. We should be able to obtain that court decree on the 15th (Friday) and proceed to take it back to the first Judge, who will then schedule and hold court to incorporate that decree. Following that, we may have another 10 day wait (or maybe only 5 days)… who knows? According to this schedule, I would return to Ukraine about the 27th of July. That would also have Anastasia transferring to a second government camp… but this one much closer to the Internat. Since we have to go back to the Internat in order to sign papers and give our “gift” to the Director, logistically this would work out well. Please pray that this schedule will come to fruition so we can travel and return before the summer is over, and thus enjoy some time together with our ENTIRE family before school starts.
Great news for families awaiting their SDA appointment and/or approval… the President of Ukraine signed a decree keeping the SDA OPEN until the new governmental office is fully operational! That will keep the paperwork moving along for everyone, wherever they find themselves in the adoption process. This is amazing news! Also, it reaffirms that the Ukrainian President is pro adoption!
I wait with great expectation and with a renewed vision, for each day is a gift and I shall live FULLY in this present. Thanks for praying with me.
It seems a strange emotion to want something so badly, and yet be so afraid that it will not be the right thing. How can a heart be turned in so many different directions? I am loving being home… Ivan is taking good care of me, and Ivan Jr, Reznov, and Iveta are loving on me and making me so glad to be with them. And yet, I have the most unsettled feeling. Like an expectant mother waiting to get a date for delivery, or for my water to break, hoping one or the other comes quickly. I am cautious to plan anything and I’m trying not to think too far ahead. I have so many things that I need to take care, but I’m really hesitan
t to jump back in, as I am hoping to receive word about leaving any minute. Weird, I know!
OUR FIRST COURT DATE IS TOMORROW, WEDNESDAY, 29 JUNE!!!! Please pray with us for a favorable outcome. I do not know what a favorable outcome is, exactly, but the Lord knows what the Judge wants, and He can move mountains to ensure it is as it should be for her and for us! PLEASE PRAY WITH US TO THAT END! When this court hearing is settled favorably it should then be academic to get everything else done and on file. Then I will be able to get my court decree in hand and, therefore, my daughter. Yet, I will praise Him for He is faithful to bring to completion all that He has begun. And I believe He began this process!
The upside of all these delays is that I have at least 4 other children that I would love to find families for! So, if you feel the slightest tug on your heart, reply and I will send you some pictures over which you can begin to pray (I am a visual person and I love to have a face to go with my prayers). Even if you don’t think this is your calling, please pray for these children. They need families and the clock is ticking so loudly for them, as they will age out of the system very soon, and thus be unavailable for a forever family!
I will write soon about the remainder of my 3 day trip home. It was full of shoes, and planes, and trains, and more planes, and a babushka (from Albania) that became my traveling partner. She spoke no English and I no Albanian, but together we spent many hours in delayed air travel, and we finally made it to Myrtle Beach (we were only about 5.5 hours late, and of course our luggage was lost on the LAST leg of our trip). A friend of mine says that you cannot fly from Charlotte to Myrtle Beach, and I am thinking he just might be right.
PLEASE PRAY! IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO VICTORY!
I know all of your inquiring minds really want to know what that title’s all about. Well, it goes something like this: I am a woman that is, perhaps, in some amount of denial. Therefore, I waited until after Alexandria and the other children left for “camp” to get my train ticket to Kyiv (where I will catch my flight home on Friday morning). Being the spoiled Amerikan that I am, I naturally thought I would buy two first-class tickets, and thus have an entire compartment all to myself. Nyet! No first class tickets were available on this train, because… this train had no first class at all! No problem. Instead, I would simply get four 2nd-class tickets (Amerikans have such spatial issues… why be alone when you can cram four sweaty bodies into a cramped train compartment and laugh, talk, spit, and hear/watch one another sleep?) Nyet, again! ”You can purchase only one 2nd class ticket, and you must share the compartment.” So, that is how I have come to be spending this night with 3 Ukrainain men… men who speak so little English they do not know I at least understand when they say “American”. Shocking as that may be, I listened to them talk about me for a good 30 minutes after our departure (I’m just glad that I could be of that much interest to these guys)… I am not sure I have fully captured any audience’s attention for a solid 30 minutes in a really long time (after about 15 minutes I usually have to nudge Ivan to make sure he has not drifted off to slumber land). Anyway, following a somewhat rocky start, we have become rather amicable, and I am least enjoying writing this post for my (envious) friends… that’s right… I know who you are! One of these guys is an amateur kick-boxer and another is his trainer/coach, or his “commander”. Watch out Ivan, I am checking them out… lol! Of course, they have seen me without make-up, and in a few hours they’ll see me with my morning breath and hair… that should be enough to keep them far at bay! So I am heading back to a flat in Kyiv, and plan to spend the day sight-seeing (at more shoe stores, of course). I want to be sure of exactly what the next year’s styles are going to be in Amerika, and be prepared.
I must tell you about my first male friend on the journey home. We met in the train station, where he was volunteered (by me) to speak on the phone with Sergei. I had been waiting in line at the window for more than 30 minutes and finally realized that “we have a problem, Houston”, but I was unable to determine the exact nature of the hold up. I had already purchased my unacceptable ticket (you recall, the one with three guys) and was hoping to make a change. So, I handed my telephone to “Bernivce” to see if he could explain the problem to Sergei (my translator), who could then explain it to me… and thus began quite a lovely friendship. He told me that he had just gotten back from a visit in Baltimore, Maryland. This I understood, but then another lady in line (now we are all friends… still yelling at each other, but friends) explained that his children live in Baltimore. Dah, dah. I explain my brother lives in Baltimore with his family. He than tells me much about his trip, but I have no clue what he is saying. At this point he, and all my buddies in the train ticket line, insist that I should move to the front and get my ticket, as I will need to hurry lest I miss the train. I explain that I just have one question, and they all look as if to say, “Dah… OK, what?” Do you think I could even tell them at that point that I wanted my own compartment on this train! Nyet! So, I make up some story about wanting to be sure where to go, and ensuring that my seat is one in which I can sleep. ”Dah, dah, you have the best kind of ticket”. Bernivce says, “Let’s go, and I will show you where we can wait”. He is so helpful (I just wish he was a judge in our adoption hearings) without speaking even five words of English. And to really make matters interesting, I just follow him out of the station as he hauls my luggage off (I bet he was sorry that he offered that service, as I apologize for how heavy my bags are… as I attempt to explain that I have been here for 6 weeks, etc, etc) and down the ramp to a bench, where he shoos some other people over and we sit and wait for the train. We are communicating (not sure if I would call it talking), but definitely communicating, when he suddenly jumps up, grabs my suitcase and heads off with me hot on his heels. Over the tracks and down some other ramp we go, and I finally see that other folks are following suit. Praise the Lord for him! I would have missed this train, as I had to board from the middle track section, and I would never have known to get to that section before the train arrived. By then it would have been too late. He hauled my very heavy suitcase onto the train, into my compartment, and got me all settled-in. He then quickly said goodbye and headed off to his seat. In a few minutes he came back with a steward (I believe so that she could explain where and when I could eat… the dining car was several cars away). How very thoughtful of him! At a later stop, he came to check on me, “Вы хотите поесть?” (Do you want to eat?) How ’bout that for a true gentlemen in former a communist country. Not that many have I found, but today when I have needed them, God has provided. Did I say that he has all gold teeth? Sorta of like the James Bond movie guy… but so not! God’s provision is rarely in the package you would expect or choose, but He always provides. I will let you know how my morning goes…
Maybe I should start this post with a few thoughts on watching the kids leave for “camp” yesterday. First, let me say a big “Thank You” to my dear friend from Texas, and her family. She and her children all came to the “Internat” for the big send off. I should start by telling you that I sobbed like a baby as I watched the bus pull away from the big square in front of the school. The kids filed out of the school by their classes, and they brought their bag(s) down to be inspected by the policemen. It was certainly an intimidating-looking group of uniformed men who showed up about an hour before time to go. I asked some of the kids why the police had come to school “AGAIN” today… they have already been to school this week, as it seems some of the boys from Alexandria’s class broke into a garage-like building. It was quite a disappointing and scary day when the police showed up. Seems that I was the last to know what had happened. Interesting comments from Alexandria yesterday, as we were talking about money for the children at camp… she commented that “We might have to a give our class money to keep the boys out of jail. It is not a big deal.” I was so proud of her, to see that she would give the very little bit that she has to keep her classmates out of jail. If the person that owns the garage wants money, then they will have to give up all the class money to pay him (somehow that will keep these 15 and 16 year old boys out of jail). So far, though, the owner has not asked for money.
But back to the departure… it was a cool, overcast day, and as the children were lining up on the square it started raining. It seemed a perfect reflection of my heart. This also may be why I did not remember to get a single photo of the buses leaving. I hate that I didn’t capture this moment on film. The children in Alexandria’s class seemed genuinely concerned for me, as I was crying for all of them and hugging them tightly… perhaps no one has ever been moved to say goodbye to them. Sadly, my buddy Jainya did not come to hug me goodbye. I was disappointed for sure, but figured he did not want this woman crying on his shoulder, or perhaps he didn’t want to cry on my shoulder. He did go change into some of the clothes that I had gotten him, as I had asked him earlier if he was going to take them with him? I had him come down and I introduced him to Amanda and her family (her children from Internat he already knew). Earlier he gave me the sweetest gift (if you do not know… my love language is “gifts”). He took his cup from the pottery set (which the sponsors had given him for trade school) and painted my name, his name, and his birthdate (which I so wish we could change and make him younger than 16) and something to the effect of “never forgetting him”… like I ever could! I cried then, so maybe that’s why I did not get another goodbye hug! Maybe the wake up call for me is to never forget boys like Jainya… locked away in this prison of an orphanage without a family, without opportunity, but with so much to give.
Another oddity today… I observed some parents coming to the school to bring snacks and gifts to their children, and to say goodbye… What on earth??? As if they are sending their kids to church camp for the summer! Oh yeah, let your children live in an orphanage while you do WHAT at home? After witnessing that, I am not so compassionate towards these parents. What makes people do such things? I could not help but think of what a genuine gift Jainya’s mother (and several of these other kid’s parents) are missing out on. They are so sweet (not all, but many of them). WARNING… I have picked out children for many of my friends back home, and a bunch more for Ivanka! Now if we could just win the lottery and get our own jet! There are flats here we could buy for almost nothing, so adoptive families would have inexpensive accommodations while in region and, well, you get it… great visions have surely been birthed with less!
About 30 orphans are bicycling across Ukraine to raise awareness of the plight of orphans and to encourage Christians in Ukraine to adopt. “Ukraine Without Orphanages”. A world without orphans. Here are we Lord, let it be so unto us according to your Word! It is not easy, but nothing worth having ever is!
Fortunately, I am going to the train station with Amanda and family now, and then we are off to dinner and drinks in the square. “Cocktails” here are the grandest… they are sorta’ like an Italian cream soda with fresh fruit. Yummy! Sirhan does them well! Then back to the hotel to pack, and ready for a journey home… ALONE! Ukraine beware! Amerikan woman with not enough Rusky to really navigate foreign travel is on the move (or about to be)!
If you have been following this roller coaster ride with me, I thank you. There have been so many ups and downs that my head is spinning, and I literally have been sick to my stomach for the last four days (one of which I never left the hotel room, save for a brief trip when I went to court to see the Judge).
So… my update: Barring a miracle (and I believe in miracles… this is certainly the land of sexy things, why not adoption miracles?), we will need 2 additional court hearings, taking more than a month, to correct a misspelled name on a 15 year-old birth certificate. So, if you’ve ever complained of good ole’ American bureaucracy, you might want to reconsider and be glad that (as messed up as some things are in America) you are not dealing with a communist mindset. ”Immovable” is how it feels. I had a flight scheduled today from Kyiv to begin my jaunt to Amerika, but yesterday I arrived at the “Internat” to find Alexandria devestated and in tears
(the director had told her she was going to government camp for the summer, instead of going home with me). After that, there was no way I could leave. We spent a lot of time going over how she had waited and waited (nearly 10 months) for us to come get her… and she now believes she is never going to get to come home. It took all my strength to not end up a puddle on the floor myself, and to refrain from saying exactly how stupid this system really is. But I tried to lether know that it is not my choice, and that I am working hard to get these things sorted out, but that I want her now as much as I did last summer! ”God will make a way”, I keep telling her. She just looks at me, not seeming to understand. One day she asked me, “If Ukraine and Amerika have the same God, then why is Amerika so much better than Ukraine?” She is clearly considering how God moves in countries, situations and (I hope, one day) in the hearts of man… especially in her heart.Yesterday, I rescheduled my airline ticket for next week. I will stay here until she leaves for the camp, and then I will head to Kyiv to begin my long journey home. I never thought I would make this journey alone, but…I really dread getting on that plane without Alexandria. I feel for my seat mates, as they may find me to be the worst traveling companion.On an upbeat note, I have been falling in love daily. So many of these children could easily be mine. I know, I know… how can I be thinking such a thing as I am in the depths of despair over the trials of getting my daughter out of here? But, if you were here and could spend time with them, and hear some of their stories… well, it is a lot like watching the humane society television commercials… only these are real, live people that just need someone to care. Many of Alexandria’s friends have already turned 16, and the USA does not allow adoption of children over the age of sixteen (however, if you get the paperwork processed before the 16th birthday, you can complete it after they turn sixteen). One particular boy has really captured my heart, but he is already sixteen. If he was not, I would be on the wire getting his paperwork started (we didn’t tell anyone, but we got our original paperwork approved for TWO adoptions… just in case). Alexandria was telling me some of her friends’ stories and describing how they ended up at the Internat. Many of these children have been here with her for more than nine years. One child in particular lived in a basement, alone, until he was five when the government found him walking down the street in filthy clothes, begging. She did not know how long he had been in that basement alone. Another story of a girl who does not remember her parents or her siblings, but met her sister at a government camp a few years ago. They discovered one another because of the same last name, and their middle names were their father’s name. So, they knew they were related and had heard that the other existed, but had never met. Amazingly, this little girl is a terrific dancer and has asked to go to “dance high school” now that she’s “aging out” of the orphanage. Sadly, children from the orphanages do not get to go
to these schools, so instead she is going to go to school to be a cook. A cook, not a chef (this is not culinary arts school)! She did not qualify to go to Amerika for the hosting (like Alexandria did when we met her) because her father is alive (never mind that he is in jail and she has never even seen him). I could go on and on with stories like these. Children need a family… it was God’s design! It is just not right any other way! Nothing about adopting them is simple, but when I see each of them individually, I just want to say to them, “Your new family is out there waiting to find you”. Oh, how I wish it were true!
Tonight I went back to the orphanage after dinner. I was given permission since school is out for now and they do not have the same rigid bedtime. It was the strangest thing… to be in the halls of their rooms and tv room… to see all of the children and their routines… but with no parents. Just these 30 children laying around on the hard floors, watching TV, with no snacks, no blankets, no parents yelling to turn the volume down or take your shower. A man comes around periodically watching them (and really me, I think), but he is simply security for the night, and he stays mostly down by the front door. I am guessing he walks through the halls to make sure everyone is in, but he is hardly a Pappa figure. I do not know if it is different in the younger children’s halls, but my guess is no.
I received a beautiful embroidered shirt from one of the boys yesterday. It is a traditional Ukrainian shirt. Boys here cross-stitch beautifully without feeling at all inhibited by this skill. I had observed the other boys picking on him one day (throwing rocks at him as he was perched up in a tree, trying to escape them), and you know I could not help myself… so I intervened on his behalf and took him with me inside. This small act of parenting rewarded me with the gift of this shirt. For children who have nothing, they are a most generous lot. They will give and help you with anything that they suspect you want of them. I cannot help but think how much they are trying to get attention and say, “I am good, too… I am worth loving.” They lack many skills we would expect them to have at this age, but many have a wanting heart. I think how much their lives are about to change after two months at camp, and then off to the big world… alone. One of the gifts they received today (from a sponsor) was a bowl, a plate, a cup, and a spoon.Imagine giving your child such a thing. And Alexandria did not even get one…
